The world is out there for you to discover on your own. There are wolves, yes, but there are also pastures full of spring grass and the chance that you will find a flock of your own.
It is your life and I can’t walk beside you. Think of what you’ve learned. Be careful, but do not forget to live. Be strong and be kind. Don’t be afraid to lose your heart.
I will come when you need me. When you need a place to lick your wounds and rest, you are welcome home. But it is time and you must go.
Please go now, before I lose my courage.
I wanted her to notice me. To see me for the first time and perhaps recognize that I was present. But in her world, I was less than a shadow. Less that the light breeze that teased her hair with the prospect of flight…of freedom.
It is, I suppose, my nature to imagine conversations between people that I can see, but can’t hear. And so…
Miss Susan: I want the musicians over here, near the hay. I also want the benches around the walls. You will also need to move the corn grinder out behind the barn.
Mr. Carr: Yes’m.
Miss Susan: And Mr. Carr, I hold you personally responsible to see that the fiddle player has no liquor tonight. I will not have him dancing a jig in his union suit as we did last month.
Mr. Carr: Yes’m!
Miss Susan: Not a single drop, Mr. Carr. If I smell any liquor on that man, you won’t see a single pie the rest of the summer.
Mr. Carr: But…
Miss Susan: Not a drop!
Mr. Carr: Yes’m.
In the silence…
The clock ticks on, without tiring, like the metronome to the tune of my life. Tick Tick Tick. A constant, dull beat.
I can hear the creak of my chair as I rock back and forth, sewing the button holes on my new dress.
An errant mouse scurries beneath the bed in the next room. Oblivious to the activity below, the cat sleeps quietly on the bed.
The kettle on the old wood stove steams away, letting me know the temperature of the oven by the sound of its whistling breath.
The house is quiet and in this moment, I can hear myself think. Good thoughts. Memories past and plans for the future.
The silence is good. It calms me and fortifies me for the day ahead. If I could, I would stay here…in this moment…in the silence.
Play me a song, she said.
I want to dance.
Daddy’s not here,
so let’s hear some jazz.
You know what I like.
The one with the horns.