Here is a phone conversation that occurred earlier this week:


Jodi: A tiny deer ran across the road while I was driving to work this morning.

Me: (Knowing Jodi's problem of correctly identifying wild animals) What did it look like?

Jodi: It looked like a tiny red dog with a huge fluffy tail and giant ears.


Jodi: Thank you baby… I think you're cute too!



Jodi walks into Hickory Farms to look at gift baskets. She is confused because, in stead of the normal collection of cheese and sausages, all that Jodi can see are cookies and crackers.


Jodi: Where are the cheese and sausages?

Man: We don't carry cheese and sausage.

Jodi: Sure you do, you always have them in gift boxes.

Man: … Lady, this is Pepperage Farm, not Hickory Farms.

Jodi: Never mind.



Waitress:    You can get that with one of our dry rubs or a sauce.

Jodi:           Why would you want a dry rub when you could get a wet rub?

Me:            blink.. blink… ummmm yeah.



my life

To understand this one sided conversation, you have to know that Jodi just detailed the inside of her car and it was spotless:


Jodi: I'll drive

Jodi: If you are bringing that coke, open it before you get in

Jodi: You had better not spill it

Jodi: Don't slam the door

Jodi: Put the coke in this cup holder

Jodi: Don't get dirt on my carpet

Jodi: Just get out….