It has only been six days since they put Ellie into the ground. Not even a week has passed. Not enough time for the shock, the pain or the loss to fully sink in, let alone begin to pass. Still, she had Stella, her oldest and now only child. Stella and her husband, they both needed her. They need her to be there for them, to cook dinner, mend clothes and do the wash. They needed her to make life as normal as possible. Normal? How could that be? Could their world ever be normal again? Little Ellie was dead. Their baby!
Jeanne's hands and body shook with the shock of the pain that overwhelmed her. She felt as though she would collapse in the middle of the side yard. She fought with everything she had in her, to remain standing. Falling meant laying on the ground and Jeanne wasn't sure that she would have the strength to get back up. So she simply stood for a moment with both hands holding to the wash line that helped to steady her and kept her on her feet. Eventually, Jeanne felt she could begin to move again and bent to gather more wet wash from the basket at her feet. Along with the clean linens, Jeanne retrieved two wooden pins from the striped bag tucked inside the basket. She used the pins to place the cloth on to the wash line and then bent down to begin the process again. Cloth, pins, line. Cloth, pins, line. Jeanne repeated the simple work cycle until the basket was empty.
Picking up the empty basket, Jeanne walked back to the house where she checked on Stella, asleep on the rug in the parlor. Stella was inconsolable for the first few days but was already beginning to recover. Yesterday morning, Jeanne had seen her pick up her dolly and play for half an hour or so before putting the worn toy down with a mix of guilt and horror on her face. As though she shouldn't have been playing with her sister so recently buried. This morning, her little baby played until she was worn to a frazzle and fell asleep in the parlor. Jeanne thought it might have been a good sign that Stella would be able to recover in time. Yes, Stella was resilient and Jeanne was thankful for that.
As Jeanne passed into the kitchen, she could see her husband, Asa, talking out next to the smoke house with their neighbor about a sow. The two of them look completely normal in the bright sunlight. Dickering over a sow. Maybe things could return to normal someday. Today, she couldn't imagine how.
Here are the links to the entire series of Elli Claussen stories:
tim mcmurdo 